"Friendship is not a job! Friends have no days off!" - Sings a popular children's group. “You don’t have to have friends, you have to be friends with them” - says the modern popular wisdom. You can't argue with statements when it comes to friendship between two men or two women. But when it comes to heterosexual friendship between a man and a woman, a lot of questions arise and a lot of opposing opinions. Let us try to understand and we in this ambiguous question: is there a friendship between a man and a woman?
Psychologists claim that the friendship between a man and a woman either begins or ends with sex. That is, either the man and the woman were initially lovers, and then for some reason they broke up, but remained on friendly or even friendly terms. Psychologists call such friendship the strongest.
If a man and a woman are friends, but they did not have intimate relations, then sooner or later, according to the predictions of specialists, they will. Only in this case, after an affinity friendship, more often than not, the end comes: either it develops into a love relationship, or a complete rupture of any kind of relationship occurs. A more difficult situation arises when a married woman and a married man are friends. In this case, the spouses of friends who have crossed the threshold from the point of view of moral principles suffer.
Psychologists also single out a third type of friendship between a man and a woman, calling it "an unnatural form of relationship." This is when people like each other, but for some reason they cannot become lovers. Most often this kind of friendship happens among work colleagues, colleagues for some interests or hobbies, and also between two married couples, the so-called friendship "houses." Such a friendship can be quite long.
At the same time, there are psychologists who believe that "to be attracted to each other is not to be incapable of friendship." This, in their opinion, is the natural reaction of the body, characteristic of friendship between a man and a woman.
Most men are by nature males, conquerors. They see any attractive woman for them as a potential couple for themselves (for the night, for the month, for the rest of their lives). Friendship on their part always has a slight (and sometimes unequivocal) hint of flirting and willingness to intimacy is not at all friendly. And the majority of women, on the contrary, can enjoy the pleasure of simple communication. The man-friend interests them solely in terms of personality, and not in terms of gender. However, men who enjoy just chatting with a woman are very few. Perhaps that is why so rare is true friendship between a man and a woman.
Whether there is a friendship between a man and a woman - everyone answers this question from personal experience. And those women who have male friends and they want to preserve them for a long time, psychologists are advised to follow a number of rules:
- Firstly, one should try not to excite romantic feelings in oneself and in one's friend. Frequent friendly hugging, kissing, gentle touch, etc. are excluded. Even romantic dreams about a male friend cannot be allowed.
- Secondly, it is necessary to avoid ambiguous words and situations. In particular, it is possible to spend as little time alone as possible, and it is better to communicate with other people. Talking on too frank topics is also better not to start - they are fraught with danger.
- Well, thirdly, not to give jealousy the will, but to respect the personal life of your male friend.
Larisa, 32, Tourism Manager:
Yes, there is a friendship between a man and a woman. I know that for sure. I have a male friend (not gay, but a heterosexual man). We met 15 years ago at the institute. There was never a hint of flirting between us, we never made eyes at each other ... and weren't comforted in our arms. They fell in love with someone, everyone knew each other about each other, all the novels were in front of each other. He is like a brother to me. It is important. You can consult with him - get a male look at the situation, the problem and feasible help in solving it. He often helps me with completely non-standard advice, supports me in difficult situations. He is happily married. Married not so long ago. And I was afraid that my wife would not accept her friend. I was worried that we would stop communicating ... But everything worked out, he introduced me to his wife, and she, an intelligent woman, perceives our friendship in absolutely normal way.
Tatyana 31 years old, seller:
Yes, there is! But it happens very, very rarely. I have a friend. It's like a brother, even you can tell him what your brother shouldn't tell. Friendship between a woman and a man can be, if they grew up together. Like mine.
Alina is 30 years old, a housewife:
In general, my firm belief that friendship between a man and a woman exists, but either it began with sex, or it will definitely end. For any - sex was or will be! Men were always friends, but after getting married, I try not to communicate with them, and new ones will not start.
Olga 26 years old, lawyer:
I have a man-friend! He is the best! There is only friendship between us, but it is very strong. We have been friends for a long time, for many years, our second half is also best friend. But true friendship is possible only under certain conditions, there should be no threat of destruction of marriage and jealousy, as well as confidence in your beloved and trust!
Ilona 32 years old housewife:
I am sure that there is no friendship between a man and a woman, it’s not for the nature to conceive. Any friendship sooner or later grow into something intimate.
Elena 28 years old, teacher:
I believe that there is no intersexual friendship. That's for sure! One way or another, you will experience feelings not at all friendly. Checked on yourself.
Oksana, 32, housewife:
I have had and still have male friends. One of them is my godfather, my daughter's godfather. My husband's brother is now my relative. Our friendship in the past has now grown into a family relationship. They are like brothers to me. What is the friendship - in what it should be - in mutual support and support.
Julia 30 years old, manager:
I think that there is no sincere friendship between a man and a woman. At least in my experience. All my friendly impulses with men boiled down to the fact that they needed to continue, but rare men agree to remain friends. Although, there is one copy - my husband. He has a lot of women with whom he is friends and helps them, and they help him and they are friends with me.
Larisa 31 years old, housewife:
I think friends and comrades are yes. But a friend, just like a friend, with whom you can discuss everything and cry, you won’t get it from a man. I have such friends and comrades from the institute. We are always happy to see each other, always hug you when we meet, kiss on the cheek, talk about the brightest and most pleasant moments of your life, but never frank. And friendship in the full sense of the word, in my opinion, cannot be, because one of the parties will still have some feelings, because a friend is more than a relative, closer than his parents, he is almost 24 hours nearby.
Inga, 43, teacher:
I have a lot of male friends. Friendship with everyone is different, it all depends on the man with whom you are friends. It turns out that for them you establish a distance in communication, because men anyway somehow begin to treat you as an object with which you can hold not only friendly meetings. It all depends on the woman herself - to let her in or keep her at a friendly distance.
On the vast expanses of the Internet, one stanza casually came across. Unfortunately, the author could not be installed. In my opinion, this little rhyme very well describes the specifics of friendship between a man and a woman.
When a man and a woman are friends,
It's very simple, but insanely difficult.
After all, much is practically impossible,
Although it is theoretically possible ...
Comments
