The treason of a woman is condemned much more than a similar act on the part of a man.
If you give up social stereotypes and look at the situation from a different angle, then behind the phrase "what to do - I changed my husband" you can see a lot of painful depth that arose before the fact of infidelity arose. How to survive a strange feeling and what to do next, read the article.
What do I change my husband?
Until you rethink treason - do nothing. With her confessions, a woman at the peak of emotions can destroy a marriage. And you should not leave, because with any treason, two are responsible - the wife for the deed, and the husband for the reasons. The problem is not a woman (most often), but the fact that family life has ceased to develop.
The first unpleasant emotion of a woman that arises, if she has changed, is a feeling of betrayal that family life will not be the same, if it will be at all.
Take time out and do not rush to confess your spouse, girlfriend or mother, or accusations, accusations and manipulations on guilt feelings can not be avoided. A woman must understand the causes of the problem, understand what destroyed the idyll.
Why we change - the reasons for treason
Hundreds of different women in the forums ask psychologists questions about their infidelity, which boils down to the typical form: "What if I changed my husband, how to return his love."
The answer depends on the reasons that it is useful to know not only "harlots", but also men, in order to understand the behavior and take their part of the responsibility.
1. Undervalued attractiveness or its complete disregard: if a man ceases to look at his wife as a woman, and sees in her only a “mommy” who feeds, dresses and chokes with a feat in the form of a trip to the supermarket. He should not take the position of a child. Sometimes she herself provokes such behavior with her own hyper-care, and there are cases when he simply did not psychologically reach relations at the level of mature men and women.
2. The family is in crisis. Spouse become distant, and the wife begins to seek compensatory relations. Such a situation is the result of the inability to share experiences, to open, to take steps towards each other, to form "I-statements" without complaints.
3. Treason as a way to bring emotions into the quagmire of married life. There is no entertainment, positive emotions, quality leisure and most importantly - the development of relationships. A woman subconsciously drives her marriage into a crisis in order to revive him, to awaken her husband from a lethargic sleep.
4. Treason as revenge on a man for his adultery. "Why am I worse?" or "I will avenge you" - such thoughts are visited by wives who have caught their halves in a treacherous connection. They want to hurt their spouse, make them feel the same jealousy, but it turns out that now it has become worse, that the problem has not disappeared, but has worsened.
5. The banal case: often the cause of infidelity becomes the alcoholic intoxication of a woman, during which an attentive man appears with confident behavior of the male. In such a situation, it is impossible to think and understand soberly the consequences.
I changed my husband how to live on?
A lot of confusion in the female soul brings betrayal of her husband: how to live on, advice anyone to listen to - a psychologist, mother or girlfriend? Definitely a specialist, because he is not included in the situation, he knows a lot about the causes and consequences, understands the woman, and does not make her guilty.
How to live further after treason advice of the psychologist
The first is that it is not necessary for your husband to know about this, if you had not previously intended to take decisive steps towards divorce.
The second is to speak out, but it is better anonymous. For this there are forums, casual companions and experts in the field of family psychology.
The third is to forgive yourself: everyone has the right to make mistakes. It is necessary to forgive not only someone, but also yourself. Moreover, if this was one case, you continue to love your man - you should not hurt your beloved man.
Changed her husband and he learned what to do?
“I betrayed my husband, he found out, I don’t want to lose him” - is a similar situation familiar? If a man finds out about treason, give him time to survive the pain. The fact that now will not be everything, as before, is unique.
Take your part of the responsibility, but tell us the reasons. This approach helps the husband to find the answer to the question "Why?". Express regret about the act and ask not to take drastic steps.
It is possible that after this crisis you will start to go to each other to a meeting faster than before. Consider men's jealousy, his sense of betrayal and try to regain confidence. It is possible that the years will pass ...
Treason husband - what to do if the husband has changed
The opposite situation - changed the man. Basic advice of a psychologist, what to do if a husband has changed ":
1. Do not do anything that will burn the bridges, the main thing - do not change in retaliation because of "I can also."
2. Do not make tantrums, but show all the pain, step back.
3. The main thing is to find the reasons why he began to do it. A woman indirectly, but provokes a man to betrayal. One of the reasons is the male instinct: the absence of sex or its quality provokes many husbands to seek comfort on the side.
Husband changed how to live further advice to his wife
Immerse yourself in your pain, do not avoid it - it is a loss: the loss of the illusion of eternal loyalty.
Then stop paying attention to your spouse and start doing something for yourself - something you dreamed of: a new hairstyle, fitness, your own business, going to work, a hobby.
When you become interesting to yourself, you automatically start to interest the man. And not only his. And this, oh, how it increases self-esteem.
