First of all, accept the fact that quarrels and disagreements in relationships are normal. Not only that, it can even be useful. They show that you want to solve problems and put effort into it. However, you have to feel the edge when disagreements become destructive for both of you.
- Quarrels about life goals
In a strong relationship, both partners respect each other's goals, but they have a common understanding of what they want together. But what if your ambitions and goals no longer coincide? You are wondering if you can be with this person in the future, say, in 10 years. Among some painful points, the following can be listed: place of residence and work, number of children, religious (spiritual) and political beliefs, distribution of finances, lifestyle. No positive thinking will help you if you spend another ten years with such a partner, and then discover that all this was in vain.
- Quarrel over intimacy
If your understanding ceases outside the bedroom, then it will soon cease inside the bedroom. Yes, partners often have different preferences, interests and levels of libido, but when you start to quarrel because of these differences, then this is a bad signal. None of the partners should feel compelled or blamed for what is happening or is not happening in the bedroom. If you start looking for flaws in each other's preferences, you will no longer be physically compatible.
- Quarrel over whether one partner wants to change another
To quarrel because one of you has to change under the influence of the other is counterproductive. Does your partner put pressure on you, wanting to adjust for yourself? Or, on the contrary, do you want to modify your partner to your liking? This does not bode well. When you started dating this person, it means that something attracted you to him - so why now doesn’t it suit you anymore?
- When you quarrel with the thought of only proving your point and gaining the upper hand
Conflicts in relations should not be based on the desire for victory at all costs. This is a couple working together on a painful issue, not sparring a partner against a partner. If you want the last word to be yours, your differences will turn into a demonstration of pettiness and hostility. Yes, sometimes it’s you who are to blame. In this situation, instead of fiercely defending yourself, you should apologize and learn to avoid similar situations in the future.
- Quarrels over money
Money can be a very explosive topic for communication. If you are planning a really serious relationship, then you must move from personal financial management to joint financial management. Sometimes a partner who earns more may require financial control. Or a partner who earns less will feel insecure and, as a result, will begin to feel his inferiority. In other words, if you cannot resolve this issue, the relationship is doomed to failure.
- When you quarrel over the lack of a spark in a relationship
Are your feelings weakened and dull? Do you think that passion and romance have disappeared, and the spark of passion has long gone out? Awareness of this fact can confuse any couple. You want to feel something, and you want your partner to feel something - but nothing works out for you. Many people, frustrated by this situation, begin to swear and blame each other, desperately trying to regain their old emotions, but, in fact, they only exacerbate the problem. If you are in conflict over an extinct spark, most likely it cannot be ignited again. Alas, some relationships do end.
- A quarrel for the quarrel itself
The way you quarrel can also indicate that your relationship is about to end. Here are some examples.
- Big fight. - Your conflicts become extremely unhealthy. You move away from the topic under discussion and begin to call each other names, blame all mortal sins and recall the mistakes of the past.
- Desire to find fault. - This type of quarrel means that you are no longer focused on finding a solution to the problem. Instead, you are simply looking for flaws in everything, and you annoy each other.
- Attention grabbing. - Some people deliberately provoke quarrels. Often this is an unconscious desire to attract attention or a way to achieve a change in routine relationships. If both of you decided to use passive aggression and manipulation for this, then your pair's prospects are very gloomy.
